A Lifeline In A Stormy Sea


One of the most valuable tools for a person in an abusive relationship is a safety plan. Even if you are not yet ready to leave an abusive relationship, or if you have decided to return to the relationship, creating a safety plan will allow you to identify your options. Create an individualized safety plan, specific to your situation and resources. The following safety plan can be used as a guideline. If you have any questions, or would like assistance from an advocate, please contact Neopolitan Lighthouse at (773) 722-0005.

Things I can do BEFORE a violent incident…

1. Identify a neighbor I can tell about the violence and ask them to call the police if they hear a disturbance at my house.

2. Devise a code word or signal to use with family, friends, or neighbors when I need them to call the police.

3. Open my own savings account to increase my independence.

4. Leave money, an extra set of keys, copies of important documents, and extra clothes with someone I trust.

5. Decide where I’ll go if I leave my home, even if right now I don’t think it will come to that. Identify a domestic violence shelter to call. Find out if a friend or relative will let me stay with them or lend me money.

6. Keep the shelter hotline number close at hand and keep change or a calling card on me at all times.

7. Identify which door, window, stairwell, or elevator offers the quickest way out of my home, and practice my escape route.

8. Teach my children to dial 911.

9. Pack a bag and have it ready to go in case I must leave home. Keep the bag in a private but accessible place where I can grab it quickly. I’ll need to take the following items:

· Money – cash, my checkbook, credit cards, ATM cards, etc.
· Identification – driver’s license and registration, Social Security card, passport, green card, public assistance ID, work permit, etc.
· Important papers – such as divorce papers; school and vaccination records; and birth certificates for myself and my children.
· Clothing
· Medications

10. If I already have an order of protection, I need to keep it with me at all times.

11. Review my safety plan as often as possible.

Things I can do DURING a violent incident…

1. If an argument starts, stay close to a room or area with easy access to an exit. Stay away from the bathroom, kitchen, or anywhere near weapons.

2. Get away. Try to get my packed bag on the way out, but if it’s too dangerous, just leave. Go to a relative, friend, or shelter.

3. Call 911 or my local police.

*The police must try to protect you from future abuse. They are required to provide or arrange transportation to a hospital or other safe place for you.

The police should also arrest the abuser if they have enough evidence of a crime. They must give you a paper which explains your rights and lists a social service agency that can help.

Things I can do AFTER a violent incident…

1. Get medical attention immediately. Ask the clinic to take pictures of my injuries.

2. Make a police report, even if I don’t want to press charges. The report will become evidence of past abuse which might prove helpful to me in the future. The abuser will not be notified that you made the report… Make the report as soon as possible after the abuse.

3. Save evidence, in case I decide to take legal action now or later. Evidence includes medical records and police reports, dated photos of my injuries or the house in disarray, torn clothing, any weapons used, and statements from anyone who saw the attack.

4. Go to court to get an order of protection from domestic abuse. I can call the local domestic violence program to learn more about this option and to get help with court action.

5. Seek out people who want to help me. Decide who I can talk openly with to receive the support I need. Plan to attend a victim’s support group or a few individual counseling sessions to learn more about myself and the relationship.

*Safety Plan provided by Illinois Coalition Against Domestic Violence.